Someone dear to me repeatedly tells me I can do anything. Someone else tells me that if I have a need, I am resourceful enough to fulfill that need. Most people probably are if they apply themselves, but when you have been thrust in the middle of a situation that demands action, you take it.
My kids and I have moved into our new home, and I have somehow managed to continue working for myself while supporting the 3 of us. I still havent figured out how that happened except that I have been on this road for a long time, and probably without even realizing it, I was taking small steps over the last year to get me here. Somewhere in the last 4 months, I realized I could make anything I wanted to happen, happen. It’s a very powerful feeling, after believing for so long you cant do “anything”.
Of course, I’m not engouraging anyone to break up a family to pursue something selfishly. But I can say if you are being abused in any way, make plans, and get out. That’s all I have to say about that.
The kids and I have gotten relatively settled, and they are happier than Ive ever seen them. I imagine its because I’m happier than they have ever seen me. I feel safe and at peace, and I think they feel the same.
Because I have been working for myself, as an artist and a writer, I am learning many things. For one, writers and artists dont get paid a lot! 
It’s also very inconsistent. And if I were on my own, without children, perhaps I would have fewer expenses… but then where would all my inspiration come from?
I have had a hundred ideas swirling around in my head for a long time. Some of them have a few details attached to them here and there. Some of them are only ideas with no development to them whatsoever. Some are a little more developed. And one is already about to start bringing in a little income. However, ALL of my ideas have the potential to generate income. Its just a matter of ironing out the kinks, developing complete ideas and figuring out a way to execute them. Which is the hard part for an artist who just wants to flutter through life loving on strangers and painting anything that paint will adhere to. Yes, sticking to an idea even when it becomes challenging is, well, challenging.
So this afternoon, after I finished my daily work, I grabbed a pen and paper, and laid flat on my face in my bedroom floor. With my eyes closed, I allowed myself to think about all the ideas I have had floating in my head. I moved my head slightly every once in awhile to write them down… sloppily. Any project I’ve wanted to research more or explore its potential was written down.
I’m a list person.
The idea behind this exercise was to freely allow myself to brainstorm artistically-inspired, income-generating projects without talking myself out of them. I did not allow myself to develop any of the ideas. Yet.
Free of distraction, I thought. And I wrote. I’m thrilled to say that the list turned out better than I anticipated when I started. Tomorrow, I will pick one of the ideas and develop it. I will push through the challenges it presents, and I won’t let an impossibility make it impossible. I already know that if I can map out a plan, it can happen. I’ve done it lately with situations that seem impossible, and really, nothing is…
To the Dreamer
http://www.etsy.com/listing/89266078/to-the-dreamer-a-letter-and-a-hot-air
