Pinecones

The kids and I left Austin yesterday to come visit my grandparents and uncle in Tyler. I was really dreading the drive- the kids havent traveled that far in the car before, and I had never made the drive myself; but it was actually the most pleasant drive Ive ever taken with the kids. They both sung and talked and played in the backseat, and the trees out in the country are just beautiful. We were also driving here at night, so the stars were extra brilliant away from the city lights.

This morning, after we all had a big breakfast together, I went for a run. I am not much of a runner, though I have tried to be for years. Ive just been so weak or sick the last few years that I end up being more exhausted than energized after a run. It has been a slightly difficult road getting my health back on track, but Ive been eating consistently for about a month, and a week and a half ago, I started doing some form of exercise every day. About 5 days ago, I was able to do an entire Pilates video, and I have gotten much stronger the last week or so than Ive been in years. This may not sound like its very much for someone who is used to physical exercise, but to me, these are HUGE milestones.

So anyway, back to this morning. The weather was cool and just slightly breezy. The trees were huge. The air was peaceful. The roads were long. The leaves on the ground were crispy. I decided to test my strength and see just how far I could go. So I turned Pandora on to my Ryan Adams station (of course…) and ran.

Oh. It was the most beautiful run.

I had a tracking device on my phone telling me how far I had run (and a map to make sure I didnt get lost!) and I ended up running 1 full mile without stopping. Now.I know that sounds pretty simple… anyone can do that, right?? But Im usually the girl at the gym who takes a break about every .1 mile, and on a good day .2 mile. Im also the girl who refuses to sweat. Not only do I refuse to sweat, but even if I want to look like a badass in the gym and I WANT to sweat, I cant. Not that I could ever look like a badass, since I fall off treadmills just about everytime I get on one…

After I finished the first mile today, I tried to remember the last time I had been able to do that.  The answer is never.

I participated in a 5K about 3 years ago, and I had to walk most of it. It took about 45 minutes to finish, and I was pretty sure I was going to throw up by the end of it. I was pretty discouraged, so I havent done it since.

So here I was this morning running up hills and around curves, and I felt amazing. I took a detour off one of the roads because I saw a pond on the distance. So I pushed through the brush, and sat next to the water for a little while. I couldnt stop smiling. I was just so at peace out there. I watched the tall trees toss a pinecone to the ground every once in awhile. I watched a mommy horse and her baby walk in a field. I listened to the water and the leaves, and I sat right in the middle of it all, feeling stronger with every breath.

I decided to walk back. I wanted to see everything I missed while I was watching the pavement on the way out. I took another small detour and picked up some pinecones. They remind me that no matter what Ive gone through, as prickly as situations have gotten, there is always beauty in it. I wanted a reminder of the fact that today, I ran further than Ive ever been able to without stopping, that Im stronger than Ive been in years, and that Im only going to go further and grow stronger! This is just the beginning. I’ll keep those pinecones forever. To remind me that Im always going to go forward in my life, that even small beginnings are amazing, and that my life is absolutely beautiful.

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